Edward's Final Compromise
by vjd
Summary: At the end of Eclipse this is what Edward is thinking in the meadow with Bella.  It was a challenge by a reviewer to write Edward 'happy'  Enjoy!  PLZ R


All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

Once we arrived at our meadow we laid down next to each other holding hands. There was a comfortable, thoughtful silence that fell over us. I was hesitant to speak after last night, afraid that something might trigger her weeping again. I vowed to never allow my angel to ever experience pain of that magnitude ever again. Never again would I watch as Bella fell into the deep pits of despair, helpless to do anything, as she had just hours ago. If I could help it she would never feel pain again, but unfortunately there was nothing I could do about that. Soon enough she would experience a physical pain that could be likened unto nothing she had ever felt before…

I sighed inwardly and glanced over at my love lying next to me. She was staring at the soft gray sky that expanded as far as the eye could see, apparently lost in thought. I wondered what she was thinking, as usual. Though I was getting better at reading her she still managed to surprise me. Like earlier this morning. I was a little baffled by some of her limitations she had given Alice before giving her exclusive rights to plan our wedding. I was mystified with the fact that she had given into Alice at all. I knew marriage was certainly not something she valued, or ever wanted. Attention was something Bella avoided at all costs.

My patience grew thin as the silence continued. I needed answers. "August Thirteenth?" I asked trying to sound casual.

I sighed as she explained her reasoning; it would give her exactly one month before her birthday. She was so scared of getting old, especially of being older than me. She was being absurd of course. There was nothing that would ever make me stop loving her, and seeing her as the beautiful creature that she was. Old, young, it did not matter to me. As long as she was mine I didn't care. What she said next took me off guard.

"My age is not really that important. Edward, I'm ready. I've chosen my life—now I want to start living it." Her voice was serene yet she spoke with such conviction.

I stroked her hair, amazed yet again by her complexity. Maybe last night was not just about Jacob Black. Maybe a part of her was also mourning for the life she would soon be giving up. In choosing me she was giving up everything life had to offer her. Jacob had dangled the perfect human life before Bella, all she had to do was reach ever so slightly and it would have been in her grasp. A life that was full of love and hope—A complete life with all her family and friends. Somehow, she was able to turn her back on it all, in favor of love—a love neither one of us could deny. Though it pained me to see her turn her back on her human life, I could not deny the elation I felt.

"The guest list veto?" I asked returning to my original line of questioning.

"I don't care really, but I…" She hesitated. I could see that something was troubling her as I stared at her face waiting for her to explain.

She was worried about Jacob again. She was concerned with how he would react to our wedding. She did not want him to feel obligated in any way to attend. She was worried about _his_ feelings and causing _him_ any more pain. She was trying, once again, to take care of everyone else except herself.

I could stand it no longer. I grabbed her quickly, wrapping my hands around her waist and rested her on my chest. "Tell me why you're doing this, Bella. Why did you decide, now, to give Alice free reign?"

She regaled me with a conversation she had with her father last night. He had sensed, correctly, that his days with his daughter were numbered.

"It wouldn't be fair to keep Charlie out of this," she went on to explain. Was there no end to her selflessness? It was clear from her expressions that the mere idea of marriage brought her great stress and anxiety, yet she was completely willing to suffer to bring comfort to the ones she loved—including me.

How I loved this woman before me! She was my everything—my whole world. Never had I wanted her more than this very moment. My body ached to be closer to hers. She was amazing in everyway. There was no end to her goodness. She was such an example to me of how one should love. She loved wholeheartedly and held nothing back. Her love was complete without conditions.

How utterly and completely selfish and self-serving I had been! I had been such a fool. In trying to protect the one I loved I had only succeeded in hurting her time and time again. It was clear that she loved me and wanted to be with me forever, she had proven that, almost died for it, on more than one occasion. Instead of being happy and satisfied with her love I had stubbornly insisted on more. Instead of trusting her ability to choose for _herself _what was best, I had arrogantly decided for her. After all the mistakes I had made, who was I to judge what was best for Bella? It was clear that what I thought was best only ended up hurting her deeply in the end. In trying to protect her I had damaged her, wounded her almost beyond repair at times.

I held her face in my hands as I searched for answers. I found nothing but love and truth for the words she just uttered. 'Oh my sweet Bella, love,' I mentally thought as I continued to hold her face. I was going to let her choose her own happiness from now on. My way always seemed to be wrong. No more deals. No more conditions. We were going to do this _her_ way. No longer would I manipulate her into doing what I wanted—into doing what I so foolishly thought was best. Her joy was all that really mattered to me. I was tired of watching her sacrifice her happiness for others--especially mine. It ended now.

"Deal's off." I said abruptly taking Bella by surprise.

I explained that I was not backing out of any arrangements I was simply releasing her from her side of our agreements. I was going to give her everything her heart desired without demanding something for myself in return.

"Why?" She asked sounding a little mystified.

"Bella, I see what you are doing," I started. I was no longer going to sit back and watch her as she suffered for the benefit of others. She was the most important thing to me, ever. Her happiness was the only thing that truly mattered to me at all. I would not let anyone interfere with that again. I assured her that I would be the one to inform Alice that we would not be getting married. I knew she would worry about her reaction. I would not permit Alice to make her feel horrid in any way for canceling the wedding.

"But I—" She began but I quickly cut her off.

"No." I insisted as I explained my reasoning to her. From now on things would be done to her specifications and no one else's. If that meant she wanted to be changed tonight preparations would be made.

"I was thinking that maybe if we gave you enough morphine, it wouldn't be so bad. It's worth a try." I gritted my teeth at the thought of my angel experiencing the pain of the transformation that I remembered all too clearly.

"Edward, no—" She insisted again.

I needed to put her mind at ease, to assure her that I meant what I had just promised. I gently lifted a finger to her lips to silence her. "Don't worry, Bella, love. I haven't forgotten the rest of your demands."

How could I forget? It was the one thing we _both_ desired. I gazed over at her and was taken by her beauty. I twisted my hands in her hair and brought her face to mine kissing her ever so gently, but sincerely.

I was ready for this. I wanted her to feel that. My body ached for her. To be close to her, touch and feel her body against mine was all I wanted now. The world around us disappeared as I felt her warm swollen lips working against mine.

Her hands wandered down my arms ever so slowly igniting them on fire, as her tiny hands gripped onto me pulling herself closer. I groaned internally as she pressed her body flat against mine. I continued to kiss her passionately letting the desire and love I had for her wash over us.

Gently I rolled us over and pressed her delicate body into the grass with mine. I refused to break the close contact of our bodies in any way. I craved her. I needed her to feel just how much she meant to me, and just how much I wanted her. My body throbbed with desire as she slowly shook her head back and forth.

I released her lips from mine allowing her to breathe as I moved them to her neck. Slowly and deliberately I began to plant kisses on her smooth, milky skin.

"Stop, Edward. Wait." She said her voice weak and uncertain.

If she thought this was not what I wanted she was sorely mistaken. I was totally under control, and was ready to do this.

"Why?" I whispered into the hollow of her neck as I planted a soft succulent kiss there.

A few minutes passed before she was able to respond. "I don't want to do this." She answered with a little more resolve in her voice.

"Don't you?" I asked smiling. I moved my lips back to hers silencing all her worries. The taste of her lips was intoxicating as I felt them fill with warm blood just under the surface. With each touch from my angle I trembled. My ice-cold body blazed. Never had I felt such warmth before. I wanted to take my time and enjoy every inch of her.

Her hands slowly moved from their position in my hair down to my chest leaving my skin electrically charged in the wake of her caress. I felt her hands rest lightly on my chest, and then un-expectantly I felt her push against me. I reacted instantly, staring at her with lustful eyes.

"Why?" I managed to ask in a low rough voice. "I love you. I want you. Right now." I stressed as I stared into her glorious dark eyes searching for answers. She said nothing, and I took advantage of her silence once again devouring her lips.

"Wait, wait," she managed to mutter around my lips.

"Not for me," I verified.

"_Please_?" She gasped as she pleaded with me to oblige.

Frustrated, I groaned and pushed myself off her rolling onto my back again. She was not playing fair. I never should have told her what her pleading did to me. We lay next to each other as we both tried to catch our breath.

I was the first to recover. "Tell me why not Bella," I demanded. "This had better not be about me." I added sternly.

She paused briefly looking me in the eyes. "Edward, this is very important to me. I _am_ going to do this right."

"Whose definition of right?" I question not entirely convinced of her motives.

"Mine." She asserted.

I rolled up onto my elbow and stared at her disapprovingly. She had wanted this for so long. She was always the one to press and push my boundaries, always seemingly unsatisfied, yearning for more. I didn't believe that, now that I was finally giving her all she wanted, that she had suddenly changed her mind.

"_How_ are you going to do this right?"

She took a deep breath before she answered. "Responsibly." She went on to explain her reasoning for continuing with plans for a wedding and allowing Alice to plan it. She re-confirmed that she did in fact want to be with me while she was still human, but worried about _my_ soul. I had to fight the urge to scoff at that. Soul indeed.

"You're not going to budge me on this." She stated with conviction.

"I'll bet I _could_," I answered as my eyes once again burned with the desire I had for my angel.

"But you wouldn't," She said in a semi-level voice. "Not knowing this is what I really need."

I could tell by her voice that she was on the edge of her self-control; one small push and she would fall off the edge and lose herself in me. Though I was sorely tempted I would do no such thing. She had me and she knew it. I was putty in her hands.

"You don't fight fair," I accused.

She grinned slyly at me, "Never said I did." I smiled back longingly.

"If you change your mind…" I trailed off suggestively.

"You'll be the first to know." She promised.

With that the subject was closed. I leaned over my love once more and drank her all in. She was utterly magnificent, absolutely radiant in every way. I had no idea why she had chosen me, but I was eternally grateful. My eyes still burned with the passion I had for her as I traced each of her delicate features with my eyes. The feelings that coursed through me as I gazed down at my Bella threatened to over take me. My life felt complete as I held her in my arms. She was the one thing in my world that brought me reason, the one thing that I wanted…no _needed_ to survive. Without her life held no reason and all was dark. She was my sun, filling my life with her brilliance, goodness, and beauty. I would spend the rest of forever proving myself to her, and making her happy as my partner, and wife. I smiled internally at the thought of seeing Bella all in white walking down the isle to _me_, in only a few short months. How had I gotten so damn lucky? Never had I felt so much joy as I did at this moment soaking in the perfection that lay beneath me.


End file.
